Thursday 28 August 2014

Doctor Who - The Hidden Monsters


this review is going to be so bad I already feel guilty. And I haven’t even started writing yet.
sooo… I was going to read 1q84. It’s why I had been reading smaller books; so I could save up reading days for such a big book. And then I started watching Doctor Who. And that was awesome, but it ate reading time like a weeping angel eats time energy. So I had to scale it down a bit.
Then I was going to read Great Expectations. I have never read Charles Dickens before and it was becoming sinful- it was becoming part of the shameful pile of stuff you only admit during a Never-Have-I-Ever drinking game. (Well, if played with literate friends. Which is all my friends.)
Aaaand then I heard the new season was starting in two weeks and they were going to screen the first episode in the movie theatre. And I just had to be there, which meant I had about four seasons to watch in about ten days. So I had to scale it down a bit more. I felt like I was stuck in the career advisorsketch from Eddie Izzard. I said to hell with Dickens and I borrowed a Doctor Who novel from my library.

So there you go- 200 words of apologies about why I am reading this book, and I haven’t even started talking about it yet.
And why am I apologizing? Because it’s fan fiction. It’s legitimate fan fiction. This means that the writer couldn’t do any interesting new stuff with the characters. So this is probably the worst book I have read all year.

It’s about Rose and the Ninth Doctor. They accidentally ended up in a prison solar system that has been corrupted by Blathereens. (They look like Slitheen; it’s just a different family.)

giving a whole new meaning to pretty on the inside since ever

So then they have to go and fix it. Bish bash bosh. Lots of running, lots of investigating and teleporting, and strangely enough lots of levitating. Really, the only thing that’s good about this book is that I can finally pronounce Raxacoricofallapatorius. And yes I typed that correctly on my first go.

Don’t read this.

Until next time,

Bejoes

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